Good question.

There is so much of what I’m calling “dialog” going on in my head at any one time, it’s hard not to have some of it come bursting forth in some fashion. And I want to be able to control how and when it emerges from the ether. (To the greatest degree I can, that is.)

I’m not saying I’m a psychotic, walking around hearing voices and talking to people who only I can see. I know that this is my own brain, and all of it’s depth and richness, being chided by fear and apprehension. It’s like two or three family members having an argument about me inside my own head. It gets so difficult to concentrate and relax, that I would do almost anything to make the noise stop.

And when I start to believe the negativity, when I am exhausted from life of dealing with this mental trash, that’s when the darkness closes in around me. It gets very real, very quickly. And the urgency to stop the mental “static” increases exponentially.

Why am I doing this? It’s the digital form  of the written journal I usually write in (I still do.) A release of what I am feeling and thinking to get it out of my head in hopes of quieting my mind down so, maybe, I can find some peace.

Depression is a monster that some of us battle on a daily basis. It’s not a choice we get. When your brian chemistry triggers the darkness, you have no choice but to deal with it, right then and there – with all of the energy you can muster.

I know that a small number of you read these posts. Thank you. I really appreciate your interest and attention. If you’ve taken anything away from this brief connection, please know that I wish all of you the brightest sunshine, the warmest smiles and all of the abundance that life has to offer.

Peace.