I’ve lost my way.

People say –

• Step up.
• Get involved.
• Fight the good fight.

People assume that we all have endless energy and strength to do all of this stuff (while living a full life, working and providing for our families.) It used to be that way for me. I could go the extra mile and give of myself and my time. And it wasn’t all that long ago, either.

Now, I am always exhausted, fighting to keep my eyes open and my brain functioning. I am in some level of constant pain. On top of that, my depression is becoming more of an issue for me on a daily basis. And my attitude is gotten a lot more…acerbic.

I guess I’ve not only lost my way.  I’ve lost my heart.

It sure feels that way. Is that what happens when you get older?

I feel beaten down by the battles of life.

But life shouldn’t consist of battles.  It should be experiences.

We’ve lost the connection…to each other. We’ve lost the understanding that what we do or say can impact those around us.

I am searching for the way out of this darkness.