The ongoing internal dialog in my brain is screaming…again.

Not an easy night’s sleep last night.

Mental serenity is something I am going to find in short supply for the moment.

I have these things I want to express in frustration, but I know I have to keep them bottled up inside, lest I come off as psychotic. Things like –

• God help me!
• I hate this!
• Fuck the world!
• Why am I here?

You get the idea.

What do I have to do get this under control. When it starts (like now,) I feel as if I am cresting on a roller coaster, ready to slide into the darkness at the bottom. And the cycle starts again…

I am so fucking tired.

I am always in physical pain.

How do I stop this?

How do I stop the fucking complaining?

How do I keep what’s left of my sanity?

People say to stay strong…talk to somebody…reach out…

But what if nobody’s there?