I’m really trying to hold it together.

If you let it, this world will take and take and take from you until you have nothing left.

Life will do that to you as well.

Have you ever asked yourself “Is this all there is?”

It’s said that you have to take care of yourself before you take care of others. I do believe that.

I’m really struggling right now. I’m wondering how deep this darkness is. To be honest, I’m losing the will to keep holding on to the edge. My exhaustion is so complete and all-consuming – I can’t see how I would recover my strength (or, even if I could.)

My mental chatter is reaching painful levels – painful, in that it’s getting to be more of an effort to keep it bottled up inside myself. It’s embarrassing to not be cognizant of what I am saying and the way it impacts who I am saying it to. I am so ashamed of myself when it happens – I just want to crawl in a hole.

I feel like I am losing ground in my quest for sanity and peace. And when I do things for others (wife, family, friends, coworkers, country etc.) and get nothing in return, it drains my spirit even faster. Even a little help once in a while would be greatly appreciated. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so stupid for being taken advantage of.

I’m sick and tired of being taken for granted. I have to draw the line somewhere to preserve my own spirit. I’m tired of feeling this way all the time. It’s a feeling that you don’t want to let take root in your heart:

I don’t care.