I always say that dealing with life (for me) is like carrying a tray of marbles upstairs. The biggest challenge for me is not losing too many of them along the way.

So, understanding why my mood and emotions seem to look for ways to join the running dialog in my brain angers me. Well…makes me angry at myself, for not being able to control it. And that doesn’t even begin to include dealing with other people…

I was almost killed three times on the commute to work this morning. Twice, I was almost merged into by working vehicles (contractor’s van and a semi truck) because the drives were too stupid to check their mirrors, and once by a woman in a Mercedes SUV who – while merging on to I-5 – stabbed her brakes (causing me and two other vehicles behind her to swerve at the last second to keep from hitting her) because she just had to check that text message on her cell phone (she had it held up in front of her while she was driving – we all saw it as we swerved around her.) The last one was very, very close…

I was angry at the moment it happened, I used my horn, gave each driver a half of a peace symbol and some choice swearing and continued on my way to work. I was blessed to arrive unscathed and safe, but I started to wonder why it didn’t affect me as it might affect some people – racing pulse, shock, the jitters, fears about driving home, etc. I was feeling…

Nothing.

Zero.

I’m still here.

Not so sure about my marbles, though.