My mind is a noisy place

it’s hard to find a base of inner peace

there is so much that I want to do

so many thoughts fly through my mind with such depth and meaning

I have the strongest urge to stop the world so I can snatch one flying by

capturing it, if only for a brief time

to study it

to explore it

to investigate the gifts of insight and enlightenment it brings

to capture it’s essence

harvest it’s gems

and share those with the rest of humanity

all of that happening in the split second of the “now”

and I am saddened

to be caught up in the swift currents of daily life

dragged along

through all of life’s offerings

to the exclusion of my own spirit

it costs me a little of my soul each time

and I feel it deeply

the emptiness is painful

the loneliness tears at my heart

the darkness descends to envelope my world

a place I am all too familiar with

a life, if you can call it that

to exist is to feel the energy being drained out of me

I stop existing

I am grist for the wheel of life

all I can ask is…

“How do I make it stop?”

and my soul dies a little more.