What do I have to do? All I want is some peace. Maybe some humanity, some decency…

I don’t feel like I am improving. That’s a laugh…”improving”… I feel like I want to explode.

Is there something I am missing?

I feel dead inside – empty; is that all there is? Panic is setting in to the recesses of my mind…time for more alcohol…

A cleansing of my soul?

How many times do I want to climb back on this endless hamster wheel of my life? What do I hope to accomplish? Doing the same god-damned thing, time-after-time and expecting something different. I need something…new…?

But nobody gives a shit anymore, if they ever did in the first place.

I must be an awful person.

Is it me?

Or is it the pain?

I’m still the constant in that equation.

It’s still me.

Please forgive me.

I’m just a guy lost in the dark.