It’s been a while since I’ve last posted anything. When I logged back in, I noticed that I had a couple of things still “in process” that go back to mid last year. I feel a bit of frustration when that happens – like I am presenting an unfinished thought…and that has begun to bother me more these days. It says “disorganization” to me in the most in-your-face way possible. And, most days, I don’t need that.

My life as a total feels disorganized. And it’s felt that way for some time now. It’s not just because of the pandemic. Or anything political. Or climate change. Or neo-Nazis.

It’s all of it…and more.

What this world has become has severely diminished the humanity we used to cultivate – as if the oxygen has been sucked out of the atmosphere, killing everything we’ve worked so hard to nurture and grow. Things are moving faster and faster to satisfy some sick sense of immediate information gratification, to sate their appetite for attention with access to the Internet to put their ignorant, lie-based cuisine of their own contrived “facts” (read LIES.)

Anyone else tired of this?

Things are broken down into smaller and smaller tasks or pieces – I have no idea why.

And here I go again – it’s been a month since I wrote everything above this line of text. A part of this has to be due to my mental state – living with the “burnout” we are all dealing with. I have it. You have it.

Yes, you do.

It’s the loss of patience. It’s in the diminished capacity to be understanding and compassionate. It’s all covered in a thick layer of ambivalence. We all have felt it, to some degree or level at some time over the past 2 years.

The real question is “what are you going to do about it?”

I sure hope someone has the answer to that, because I sure don’t know.

I am so far under the water that I can’t find the way up.

And I have ZERO energy to keep paddling.

My head is so full of “noise” that I can’t hear my own heartbeat.

I have NOTHING LEFT to give.